Originally published May 22, 2014
There are some days that just don’t go according to plan. No matter what you try, things just seem to conspire to make it go south. For some reason I seem to be having a lot of those recently. Here, I’ll give you an example.
Most people arise at some unnatural hour and prepare to drive some time-warp distance in order to earn what we like to call “a living.” Time-warp because the distance in space is usually inversely related to the distance in time. After a long and arduous journey they arrive at the “place of making a living.” Here they spend approximately 8 hours moving pieces of information from one place to another and hoping (well possibly hoping) that it all ends up in a form that someone finds useful. Then the process reverses itself and they return home to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Weekends might be a bit better, although, there’s mowing and cleaning and shopping and such. It all seems to be, well, a treadmill.
I’m not particularly fond of treadmills but I am rather fond of eating, staying warm (or cool) and having sufficient outer clothing to keep me out of the gossip column. Consequently, I too must venture out into the world to hunt and gather the funds necessary to meet my needs. However, I tend to do so in the most creative manner I can manage. That sometimes gets me into—situations.
I was running a bit late on this particular morning. Probably up too late the night before chatting away with like-minded folks in various Internet forums. However, one must sally forth and take on the day at whatever pace you first set.
There were a few stops along the way and the first was the office supply store. Someone is always running out of something and it wouldn’t be convenient to wait for a delivery, so I offered to stop and pick up the order. I pulled up in front as they were opening the doors. First greeting of the morning? “You can’t stop there!”
“And, why would that be? I have an order waiting.”
“This is no place for that, that thing you have there. You’ll have to come back or send someone else.”
I see, well then, I suppose I can try the next stop. This was the florist’s shop. A fellow worker was leaving on maternity leave and we had planned a small party. As I pulled up in front of the door the lady came running out waving her arms, “No, no! You can’t stop there!”
“But I have an order and it’s paid for!”
“What’s the name, I’ll bring it.”
“Okay then, it is for Alice.” She brought the order to me. I stowed it away and off I went again. Last stop was the coffee shop. Surely this small bit could be handled without causing major to do. After all, our office was a regular, we took turns picking up the order. When I arrived the owner stepped out of his shop door with our regular tray of drinks and promptly dropped them on the sidewalk.
“Susan, you have to get a grip on things.”
“What things, Alex?”
“Things, Susan, you need to have a firmer grasp on reality. Don’t you know that—that beast does not exist?”
Does not exist? What could he possibly mean? It was then I nearly fell off my Unicorn.
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Hopefully not too contrived, a bit for my friend Stacey, an avid believer in Unicorns and all things fae. But then, aren’t a lot of us that way?
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